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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620273">In Your Arms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/catlady313/pseuds/luckycat13'>luckycat13 (catlady313)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Bending (Avatar TV), Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Child Abuse, Coming Out, First Kiss, Gay Zuko (Avatar), Graphic Description, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hospitals, Internalized Homophobia, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, M/M, Mutual Pining, Non-Binary Toph, Panic Attacks, Pining, Self-Hatred, Sokka is a math gay, Tutoring, Zuko is an English gay, bisexual awakening, mall date</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:14:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>15,037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26620273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/catlady313/pseuds/luckycat13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko: <em>Of course, my tutor just had to be a hot guy.</em></p><p>Sokka: <em>Zuko’s lips would probably be nice to kiss… Wait, what?</em></p><p>Or</p><p>Sokka makes it really hard for Zuko to ignore that he’s gay.</p><p>Zuko makes Sokka realize he might not be straight.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>335</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Where it first started</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Work title and chapter titles from <a href="https://open.spotify.com/track/52UUUJnBvaEX4LtEbtJgUI?si=w3ZBxOWQRYKEkj9bKaI-kg">“In Your Arms”</a> by Kina Grannis.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>What? She actually finished the whole fic before posting it? Who is she? Yes, that’s right, I have already finished writing this. I plan on posting updates twice a week on Wednesday and Saturday/Sunday.</p><p>A few things before we get started:</p><p>For this work, Zuko and Sokka are about the same age, both high school seniors.</p><p>Zuko doesn’t have his scar yet at the beginning of this work.</p><p>I live in Houston, Texas so that’s where this is set. It’s not aggressively Texan, just a little bit of good old conservative bigotry for Ozai and a few y’alls here and there because y’all is so ingrained in my vocabulary that it’s a struggle to write without using it.</p><p>I like to switch perspectives throughout the chapter so I’ll show it through the breaks. When there is a single break<br/>-----<br/>it is the same perspective as the last scene. When there is a double break<br/>-----<br/>-----<br/>it is switching to a different perspective. There will only be Zuko’s and Sokka’s perspectives and I try to make it obvious in the first few sentences whose perspective it is.</p><p>Lastly, this is just something I wrote to distract me from the chaoticness of my life. I hope you like it!</p><p>With love,</p><p>Lucky Cat</p><p>(PS: I made a short playlist for work with some songs I thought fit the story pretty well. Do y’all want me to share it?)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko is smart. He has always done well in his classes even though he sometimes feels like he has to work harder than other people to understand the material. That’s not the problem here. The problem is that calculus is impossible.</p><p> </p><p>It’s the second semester of Zuko’s senior year and a stupid math class is placing his GPA in jeoprady. He barely got a C on his first test <em>with</em> corrections and his father was furious, to say the least. He demanded Zuko get a tutor because he is already “enough of a disappointment.”</p><p> </p><p>So here Zuko is, sitting in the library after school on a Wednesday waiting for his tutor, who is already ten minutes late. He would much rather be heading home to work on his English paper. Well, frankly, he would much rather be doing pretty much anything else. At least while his tutor isn’t here yet he can listen to music. The blaring early 2000s pop punk distracts him from the student approaching him until the student takes a seat across from him. Zuko looks up and hurriedly pauses his music, ripping out his earbuds.</p><p> </p><p>“Zuko, right?” says the boy with startling blue eyes sitting across from him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Of course, my tutor just had to be a hot guy.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Um… yeah. Zuko here.” <em>Really?! Zuko here? God, can I be any more awkward?</em></p><p> </p><p>“I’m Sokka. Nice to meet you,” he said with a grin that nearly blinded Zuko. “So what do you need help with?”</p><p> </p><p>“What really killed me on the last test was optimization. I don’t understand it at all.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well we should <em>optimize</em> our time then and get started.” Sokka beamed at Zuko, but Zuko very skillfully hid his amusement with a blank stare. Sokka finally deflated and they got to work.</p><p> </p><p>Their tutoring session lasts for an hour. In that time, Sokka makes dad joke after dad joke, but he is actually very good at explaining how to do the problems. He breaks them down step by step and Zuko is finally understanding how it all comes together by the end of their time together.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want to do this again same time Friday?” Sokka asks him as they pack up their stuff.</p><p> </p><p>“Sure. If you don’t mind. You make this stuff so much easier to understand.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Mr. Pakku doesn’t make it easy at all. I’m glad I could help.”</p><p> </p><p>With that, they say goodbye and go their separate ways.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko pulls into the driveway of his house. He had been smiling on his way home thinking about Sokka so he takes a minute to plaster a neutral expression on his face, completely devoid of emotion. He grabs his bag out of the back seat and heads inside.</p><p> </p><p>As he walks past his father’s downstairs office, he hears him call “Zuko.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko turns around and walks to the doorway of the office. “Yes father?”</p><p> </p><p>“How was tutoring?”</p><p> </p><p>“It went well. The tutor is very competent. I should be able to get a better grade on the next test and bring my average up.”</p><p> </p><p>“You will get a better grade,” his father corrects him.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes father.” Zuko gives his father a slight bow and leaves to go to his room.</p><p> </p><p>Once safely behind the closed door of his bedroom, he can finally take a deep breath. He walks over to his bed and starfishes out.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko has known he’s gay for years now, probably since he was a kid. When all the boys started kissing girls, he wanted to start kissing boys, but that wasn’t something he could do. Zuko knew from a young age that being gay was wrong. It was instilled in him by his father’s work.</p><p> </p><p>His father is Ozai Sozin, the senator who famously fought against a bill to end lgbt conversion therapy in Texas and won. He stood for stereotypical heteronormative family values and Christian morality without the loving thy neighbor part.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko made a promise to himself when he figured out that he was gay that he would never act on it and he would never tell anyone. He already wasn’t good enough for his father; he doesn’t need to give his father a reason to disown him completely.</p><p> </p><p>He’s being overdramatic? He doesn’t know that’s what would happen?</p><p> </p><p>Well, Zuko has a memory from when he was ten years old that gives him absolute certainty that’s what would happen. It was Azula’s eighth birthday so their father took them to a fancy restaurant for dinner. They had just finished eating when the two men at the table next to theirs started holding hands. His father, ever focused on spreading his ideology, stood up and condemned the couple in front of the whole restaurant, calling them “disgusting” and their lifestyle “unnatural.”</p><p> </p><p>So yeah, Zuko has a vague idea that he’d be disowned if his father ever found out he was gay.</p><p> </p><p>Keeping his promise, however, is made more difficult when he thinks of his tutor. Zuko is in daydream mode, recreating exactly how Sokka looked in his mind. Sokka is just beautiful, from his tan skin to his pierced ears to his stunning blue eyes to his full lips. Zuko imagined what it would feel like to have those lips on his. He imagined Sokka’s hand on his cheek, on the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and… </p><p> </p><p>His fantasy is rudely interrupted by Azula opening the door to his room and standing in the doorway. “Wake up, Zuzu. It’s your turn to make dinner tonight and I want chicken curry.”</p><p> </p><p>“Too bad. I’m making fried rice,” Zuko replies as he gets up from his bed. Azula just huffs and walks away. Zuko makes his way downstairs and gets started, allowing his mind to drift to Sokka while he works.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is driving Katara, Aang, and Toph back to their house when Zuko pops into his mind again. He can't stop thinking about him. Everything about him, like how Zuko's eyes are a golden brown. His pulled back hair exposes a sharp jawline and his lips look almost red against his pale skin. They look soft. They’d probably be nice to kiss.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Wait. What is this?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>It almost seems like he has a crush on Zuko.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>But I’m not gay.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Not that there’s a problem with being gay. Sokka’s always been comfortable with who he is and proudly in touch with his feminine side ever since he let Suki do his makeup freshman year. Hell, he sometimes still uses mascara and eyeliner because they make his eyes look <em>amazing</em>. He just didn’t think he was the kind of guy who likes other guys. This is… different. He can’t be gay. He likes girls, has dated a couple. Doesn’t that mean he’s straight?</p><p> </p><p>This is all too much for Sokka to try to sort out while keeping half his focus on the road so he files this away to revisit later.</p><p> </p><p>A few minutes later, he is pulling into the driveway of their quaint house and his passengers are hurrying inside to claim one of two playstation controllers for some pre-dinner video games. (Even Toph. She might be terrible, but she doesn’t let that stop her.) Sokka opts to go to his room to do homework while his Gran Gran finishes dinner. Well, homework and thinking about Zuko some more.</p><p> </p><p>Sorting out his feelings has always been difficult for Sokka. He has a logical mind. He can solve any problem that he can reason out. It’s a bit more difficult to apply to feelings, but maybe it’s worth a shot.</p><p> </p><p>He lays down on his bed and the gears in his head start turning.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A fact: I found Yue attractive when I met her and I started to like her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Another fact: I found Suki attractive when I met her and I started to like her.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I find Zuko attractive in the same way I found Yue and Suki attractive, therefore I like Zuko.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Except, I’m not gay because I like girls.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Unless… BISEXUAL!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sokka doesn’t really know what being bisexual means, but a little research can fix that. He pulls out his phone and types “bisexual” into google, tapping on the Wikipedia page for it. It’s a lot of information, but the definition sticks out to him.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Bisexuality is romantic or sexual attraction to both males and females.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>With the way he’s been thinking about Zuko since they parted, bisexual just feels right to him. It makes things make more sense.</p><p> </p><p>When he was a kid, he asked his mom why the warrior always saves a girl, why can’t they save a boy, and his mom said that he was right, more warriors should save boys. Sokka responded by saying he wanted to become a warrior who’d save girls and boys. How’s that for foreshadowing?</p><p> </p><p>Now that he’s figured it out, though, he doesn’t know what to do. It’s scary to think that his friends might start treating him differently if he tells them. What would his dad think of it? Sokka believes his dad is an accepting person, but he is also a military man. Would some of those values affect how he sees Sokka?</p><p> </p><p>The joy Sokka had felt is quickly overshadowed by the panic of what to do with his new identity. He decides it’s best to keep it close to his heart for now. There will come a time for him to tell everyone, but it doesn’t have to be right now.</p><p> </p><p>Until then, he is going to formulate and execute a plan to get to know Zuko better. Operation Gold Eyes is a go!</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>The rest of the week flies by and suddenly it’s Friday. Zuko is sitting in his last period, AP government, which at this point has lasted for approximately ten years. He’s basically on the edge of his seat waiting for the bell to ring, eager to get to the library before Sokka so he can watch him walk in.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka has been a fair chunk of what he’s thought about the past couple of days. It makes him feel guilty, but he’s never felt like this about any of his other crushes before. Those were easy to push away, but something about Sokka makes him impossible to just forget.</p><p> </p><p>The bell finally rings and Zuko is the first one out the door. He races up to the third floor and takes a seat in the library at the same table as last time. He’d just barely sat down when he sees Sokka walk in. Zuko is able to get a full view of him as he approaches this time. Today, he’s wearing acid wash jeans and a royal blue flannel over a plain white shirt. All of his clothes just tight enough to see that he has some muscle definition in his arms and thighs</p><p> </p><p>Sokka grins at him as he arrives at the table and sets his bag down. “How’s it going, man.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko thankfully pulls himself out of ogling Sokka before the pause is too long. “Good. Just ready for the week to be over.”</p><p> </p><p>“I feel that. Let’s get started then.”</p><p> </p><p>They go through the topics from the two lessons taught since they met last. Zuko is once again astounded at how much easier it is to understand when Sokka is explaining it. They finish five minutes before their time together is meant to end (even though Zuko wishes it wouldn’t).</p><p> </p><p>Sokka seems to have read his mind. “I wanted to go over a few more things for the quiz we’re going to have on Monday, but we don’t have time this afternoon. Do you maybe want to come over to my house tomorrow so we can study for a little while?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes!” Zuko said a little over-excitedly. He dialed it back. “That would really help. Thanks.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka hoists his backpack up to his shoulder and takes out his phone. “Put your number in. I’ll text you my address. Does 10:30 tomorrow morning sound good?”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko took the phone and put his number in. “That works.” He shoots off a quick text to himself that reads “Sokka, calculus tutor” before handing the phone back.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka gives him another dazzling grin. “Alright, see you then.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>Once again, they part, but this time Zuko’s heart beats like a hummingbird in his chest as he heads home.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Sokka usually likes to sleep in on the weekend, but today he can make an exception because phase one of Operation Gold Eyes is in motion.</p><p> </p><p><b>Phase One:</b> <em>Ask him to meet with me outside of school to remove the barriers for more personal conversation</em></p><p> </p><p>He was successfully able to ask Zuko to meet with him in a more casual environment, even though it is still under the guise of studying. Baby steps.</p><p> </p><p>It’s currently 9:30, so Sokka has one hour to shove all of the clothes lying scattered around his room into his closet and make himself look some semblance of put together. The shoving takes about 20 minutes and the whole time he’s thinking about how he should really fold and put stuff away, but there’s no time for that. He decides he smells worse than okay so he hops into a quick shower and puts his wet hair up in his signature warrior’s wolftail.</p><p> </p><p>Next, he had to pick out his clothes. He was going for nice-casual-but-not-trying-too-hard, so he threw on black basketball shorts and a blue long sleeve shirt from soccer camp.</p><p> </p><p>When he’s done with all of that, he looks at the clock, 10:15. Just enough time to clean off his desk before Zuko gets here. Or so he thought, because as soon as he moves towards his desk he hears the doorbell. He races down the hall to answer it before Katara can sink her claws into him and makes it just as she peeks her head out from the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s that?” she asks while munching on a bagel.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s… a study buddy.”</p><p>“A <em>study buddy</em>? You sure you’re going to be studying?”</p><p> </p><p>There’s no way she could know his ulterior motives, right? He shook the thought from his head. “Yes,” he said curtly just before opening the door. “Hi Zuko.” He hears Katara almost choke on her bagel because she had obviously mistaken that Sokka’s study buddy would be a girl when she implied the study buddy would be a different kind of <em>buddy</em>. Joke’s on her though. “Come on in.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,” Zuko says softly. <em>He’s so cute.</em></p><p> </p><p>“You can leave your jacket on the back of the couch. My room is the one at the end of the hall. You can go ahead there and I’ll get us something to drink. Do you want coffee or water or a soda or something else?”</p><p> </p><p>“Just water. Thank you.” Zuko takes off his coat and turns to walk down the hall, giving Sokka two seconds to look at him before it becomes weird. He’s wearing a dark red turtleneck that would look stuffy on anyone else and black skinny jeans which give Sokka a good view as he walks away. Thankfully, Katara is back in the kitchen while he subtly checks out Zuko’s ass.</p><p> </p><p>He fills a glass with water and heads to his room only to find Zuko standing in the middle of the room as he closes the door. Sokka quickly realizes that with his desk still covered in all the papers he has accumulated in the first month of school, the only place to sit is on his bed or the floor. He doesn’t want to make it awkward so he tries to keep his tone casual and hopes that’s how it actually comes out. “You can sit on my bed. I’ll grab my calc notebook.” He hands Zuko his water and turns to grab what they need to study.</p><p> </p><p>While he has his back to Zuko, he takes the opportunity to take a quick deep breath to calm the nervous beating of his heart. He goes back to his bed and they get started.</p><p> </p><p>It only takes about half an hour to go over the stuff for the quiz. Zuko really is a fast learner when he understands what he’s learning. He probably doesn’t even really need Sokka’s help with this material, but Sokka can keep pretending he does for a little while longer.</p><p> </p><p>In typical Sokka fashion, he makes a joke to try to get Zuko to smile and bring his walls down just a little. “If it was this easy to get you into my bed, I’d have started talking to you sooner.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko just flushes bright red and makes eye contact with the floor, looking unbelievably uncomfortable, and Sokka knows immediately that he messed up.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh no-- Sorry! I wasn’t trying to say you’re gay or anything. I just-- I’m pretty stupid.” Sokka’s mind races for what else he can say to fix this when he hears Zuko’s voice, small and pained.</p><p> </p><p>“I am.”</p><p> </p><p>All Sokka’s brain can manage is a “What?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gay.” Zuko looks like he’s about to cry and Sokka knows he’s responsible for that. <em>Could I be a shittier person?</em></p><p> </p><p>“That’s totally fine. I think I’m-- or I mean I am bi,” Sokka says as he rubs his neck and looks down at his lap. He realizes what he just did. He just said that he’s bi out loud for the first time. His nerves are front and center, but something about it feels good. Really good, like a small weight is gone from his shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>He finally brings his gaze back up to meet Zuko’s and sees that he’s just staring wide eyed at Sokka. “You are?” Zuko’s voice is barely a whisper. Sokka just gives a small nod. “When did you know?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is a little shocked by the question, but it gives way to relief to finally have someone to talk to about this. “It’s something I only figured out recently,” Sokka says, matching the volume of Zuko’s voice. “You’re actually the first person I’ve told.”</p><p> </p><p>“Me too… I mean you’re the first person I’ve told too. I’ve known for a long time though.” Something about Zuko’s face looks softer all of the sudden, like he released the tension that came with keeping who he is a secret.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me,” Sokka says with a grin beginning to spread across his face. “I think my Gran Gran made lunch for all of us. I’ll never hear the end of it if you don’t stay for the food.”</p><p> </p><p>“Okay. That sounds nice.” Zuko finally smiles softly and it’s the most adorable thing Sokka has ever seen.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka smirked as he added “Plus, I’m sure my little sister Katara is dying to grill you.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko just rolled his eyes. “I know plenty about little sisters so I know it’ll be brutal.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh yeah, it will be,” Sokka says with a chuckle. They get up off his bed and head out to the kitchen with a genuine comfort in the air between them.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I felt my heart was trying to find the place for you to stay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka brings Zuko into the gang and enacts phases two and three of Operation Gold Eyes.</p><p>-----</p><p>Zuko has just a smidge of hope.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Quick thanks to everyone who has come back to read the second chapter. I love hearing from you guys in the comments, so let me know what you think!</p><p>This chapter gets intense towards the end, so I recommend referring to the content warnings and reading with caution because the scene might be triggering for some. I hope you enjoy!</p><p>With love,</p><p>Lucky Cat</p><p> </p><p>Content warnings at the end.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's Monday morning and Zuko pulls into his familiar parking spot a solid hour before the first bell. Azula carpools with Mai and Ty Lee so he can leave the house as early as he wants. He likes his time alone. It lets him think. The whole way to school, he'd thought about Saturday.</p><p> </p><p><em>The studying.</em> Since he already understood the material pretty well, he got to watch Sokka as he worked. He did this cute thing where he stuck his tongue out just a little when he was thinking really hard about a problem, which ended up being almost every problem. Not because he was having trouble solving the problems, but because he gave each problem his full concentration. Sokka effortlessly makes Zuko want to do well. Getting praised by Sokka for his hard work is pretty good motivation.</p><p> </p><p><em>The talking.</em> Zuko can't believe he so easily revealed his biggest secret to someone he'd known for four days. At the same time, it's like he can breathe easier. There's someone who knows who he really is now and it feels good, not having to keep it trapped inside. He’s not about to go shouting it from the rooftops, but it gives him a little hope that in the future he might be able to be himself openly.</p><p> </p><p>And he's not alone because Sokka likes guys too. As much as Zuko trusts Sokka, Sokka trusts him. They're connected on a deeper level now. Sokka had been texting him all weekend and Zuko felt like he finally had a friend of his own. Can they be considered friends now? Zuko hopes so, even though he wishes for more. That can never happen, though; he'd already broken half of his promise, he really shouldn't break the other half.</p><p> </p><p><em>The lunch.</em> It was… weird. Zuko was expecting Katara to ask him fifty million questions, but she was oddly quiet. The conversation was carried by Sokka and his grandmother. When Zuko wasn't looking at her, he could feel Katara's eyes on him like he was a dangerous animal. Maybe she was just shy. Nothing like Azula. Had the scenario been reversed, Azula probably would have tried to make Sokka cry within the first ten minutes.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko lets himself keep Sokka in the back of his mind as he enters the empty halls.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko sits alone in the courtyard with his lunch like he always does. It’s not that he doesn’t have any friends. He has Mai and Ty Lee, but they eat with Azula. He gets enough of Azula’s insults at home so he spares himself the discomfort and eats by himself.</p><p> </p><p>He’s people watching when he spots Sokka come outside with his sister and three other people Zuko’s seen around before but doesn’t know by name. Sokka seems like he’s looking for someone and then his eyes meet Zuko’s. His whole face brightens and he begins herding his friends towards Zuko.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh. He was looking for me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko fights back against the butterflies in his stomach as Sokka takes a seat next to him and his gang follow suit.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, man. How do you think that quiz went?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um… pretty well. I knew how to do everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s great! Yeah, I think I got at least a B on it,” Sokka says as he begins to eat his cafeteria lunch. He seems to realize that Zuko doesn’t know most of the people he brought with him when he sees the blank stare on Zuko’s face. “Oh, sorry. This is Aang, Toph, and Suki. You already know Katara.”</p><p> </p><p>The boy Sokka said was Aang is wearing a beanie with a blue arrow on it and a wide smile, practically bouncing in his seat. “Nice to meet you, Zuko!”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko is able to manage a small smile and a “Hi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Calm your tits, Twinkle Toes. I think you’re scaring him,” Toph teases. Zuko had realized Toph was blind when he saw them approach with a white cane. They’re pretty androgynous so Zuko decides to not assume what their pronouns are.</p><p> </p><p>Honestly, Zuko is more scared by the glare Katara is giving him. It’s like she’s trying to use her laser eyes to bore a hole in his skull. Uncomfy, to say the least.</p><p> </p><p>Suki is next to speak. “Hi, Zuko. I think we’ve had a few classes together over the years. I’m kind of surprised we haven’t talked before now.” Her voice is genuine, like she actually regrets the wasted time when they could have been friends.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… it’s kinda crazy when you think about it,” Zuko replies awkwardly, rubbing his neck.</p><p> </p><p>“Well now we’ve all met! And it’s all thanks to calculus. Calculus really is the gift that keeps on giving.” Sokka dramatically put his hand over his heart in fondness. Zuko’s not the only one who rolls his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“You only say that cause you’re a giant nerd,” Suki says with no malice, reaching out to take Sokka’s hand in her own.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Pause</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why is she holding his hand? Is she a touchy person? Does she like him? Does he like her? Oh no, do I like someone who already likes someone else? Is it really fair for me to be jealous since I’ll never be able to date him anyway?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko stops his train of thought there, unwilling to let this one ambiguous action send him spiraling. Not right now, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>And…..</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Play</b>
</p><p> </p><p>Sokka, ever the drama queen, scoffs and looks offended. “I am distinguished-ly intelligent.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure nerd,” Toph says absolutely deadpanned while lifting their feet to the table.</p><p> </p><p>Lunch continues in similar fashion. Sokka pulls Zuko into their banter and by the end of lunch he is laughing at all their jokes and quips. About five minutes until the bell, Aang, Katara, and Toph all depart to go to their lockers and Suki tags along with Toph, letting them hold her arm as they walk, so it’s just him and Sokka.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko really wants to ask Sokka what his relationship with Suki is, but he decides that might expose his crush. Instead, he asks about Katara’s looks and silence. “Does your sister… not like me?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s face drops a little. “It’s not so much that she doesn’t like you. It’s just… your sister’s not that nice to Katara and I think she’s wary of you because of that.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko is horrified. Of course his sister still picks on others like she’s an elementary school student. “I am so sorry. I am nothing like my sister, I can assure you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know that,” Sokka says with a gentle smile. “Katara is just stubborn and makes snap judgements about people sometimes. I’m sure if you talk with her, she’ll warm up to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll try that. Thanks,” Zuko says relieved.</p><p> </p><p>With that, the bell rings.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll text you later,” Sokka says while grabbing his bag.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, talk to you then.” Zuko is smiling when he walks away.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is getting kind of frustrated. Since Monday, he has been working on phase two.</p><p> </p><p><b>Phase Two:</b> <em>Flirt with him consistently so that he’ll see me in a more romantic light</em></p><p> </p><p>The problem is Zuko is oblivious. It’s now Friday and Sokka has made Zuko blush a few times, but for the most part Zuko doesn’t pick up on it.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka had to play mediator for Zuko’s conversation with Katara on Tuesday. Zuko apologized for his sister’s behavior and explained that he was not like her. Katara accepted the apology, but she was dubious at first. After a few days, though, she went full-on mom friend on Zuko when he said he didn’t really feel like eating his lunch. Any animosity she was holding onto had obviously been let go of.</p><p> </p><p>But now, Sokka has a problem. Phase two seems to be at a standstill, but it might be too early for phase three.</p><p> </p><p><b>Phase Three:</b> <em>Ask him out on a casual date to make it clear you’re into him</em></p><p> </p><p>It’s probably still a little soon for the “make it clear you’re into him” part, but he has a perfect idea for the “ask him out on a casual date” bit.</p><p> </p><p>Like every day that week, Sokka earlier asked Aang, Katara, Toph, and Suki to leave the lunch table a few minutes early so that he could “talk calculus with Zuko,” a subject that absolutely bored them. They don’t have to know he’s lying through his teeth.</p><p> </p><p>When they’re all gone, he turns to Zuko and tries to act casual. “So, I need to go to the mall after school today to pick out a gift for Katara’s birthday and I was wondering if you might want to come with me?”</p><p> </p><p>“I mean… I don’t know her as well as your other friends.”</p><p> </p><p>“They’re all busy.” A small lie. “I don’t want to go by myself. I’ll buy you a soft pretzel if you come with.” Sokka gives Zuko his best puppy dog face and it works.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, but I’ll have you know that half the reason I’m coming is for the pretzel,” Zuko replies with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take it. Meet me out front after the last bell. I’ll drive.” Sokka is internally congratulating himself when the bell rings and they separate for their afternoon classes.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>They wander pretty much the whole mall. There are a few stores that catch their eyes that they go into, but for the most part they just walk and talk. Sokka kept his promise and got Zuko a pretzel at the first stand they passed.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko feels comfortable walking through the mall next to Sokka. It’s like a date, or the closest thing to a date Zuko’s ever had. He knows that Sokka probably doesn’t even like him like that, but no harm in pretending he does for a couple hours while it’s just them and a bunch of strangers.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko stops in front of Sephora. He remembers the store from trips to the mall with his sister that always ended in her teasing him for browsing the makeup while she did something that usually involved several of the store employees.</p><p> </p><p>They still haven’t found anything for Katara yet so Zuko suggests “How about perfume?” It’s something his own sister would like.</p><p> </p><p>“You, my good sir, are a genius,” Sokka says putting a hand on Zuko’s shoulder. He’s not used to compliments so he shrugs Sokka’s hand off before he can see the blush crawl across Zuko’s cheeks. Sokka doesn’t seem to notice and they enter the store.</p><p> </p><p>They spend about ten minutes smelling every rollerball perfume Sephora has to offer and they’ve narrowed it down to two.</p><p> </p><p>“This one is classified as ‘warm and spicy’ and this one is ‘fresh,’” Sokka says holding the two options. “Which one do you think suits Katara better?”</p><p> </p><p>“I think ‘fresh’ is more her vibe. It reminds me of the color blue whereas ‘warm and spicy’ makes me think of red.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what you’re telling me is that you’re a ‘warm and spicy’ kind of guy?” Sokka smirked and Zuko felt his cheeks go hot again.</p><p> </p><p>“Anyway~ is this all we need?” Zuko asks, trying to change the topic to anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“I just need to grab some liquid eyeliner and then I’m good to go.”</p><p> </p><p>“Won’t the two of those together be kind of expensive for a birthday present?” Zuko knew that if he got his sister’s birthday present here, she’d expect at least three things, but the Southwaters didn’t seem that extravagant.</p><p> </p><p>“The eyeliner is for me.”</p><p> </p><p>It clicks in Zuko’s head. Sokka, as a guy, is about to buy makeup… for himself. “You wear makeup?” Zuko asks in a hushed tone.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka has a confused look on his face. “Yes? Sometimes. Is there a problem with that?”</p><p> </p><p>“No! I just-- I-- I didn’t-- um… I actually…” Zuko pauses and drops his gaze to his hands, not sure if he should finish that thought.</p><p> </p><p>“You what?” Sokka’s voice sounds concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“I… really like looking at makeup.” He lifts his eyes to meet Sokka’s again. “I’ve never bought anything for myself, though. I always just tag along in here with Azula.”</p><p> </p><p>Relief floods over Sokka’s face. “Well, I think I can help you fix that,” he says with a gentle smile. Zuko lets Sokka lead the way from the perfume to the makeup about ten steps away. “What kind of makeup do you want to try? Eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, lipstick, foundation, highlighter?”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko stares down at his feet. “I like red lipstick.” His voice comes out completely devoid of confidence. He feels shame at just admitting that he’s thought about this before. Sokka doesn’t let it phase him.</p><p> </p><p>“When Suki first introduced me to makeup, she got me hooked on Kat Von D’s liquid lipsticks. They stay on really well and the color is really pigmented.” Zuko is completely absorbed in the words coming out of Sokka’s mouth. It’s like he’s telling him that it’s okay without saying it outright. Sokka picks up one of the samples from the display and holds it next to Zuko’s face. “I think this would be a good color for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko immediately falls in love with the dark red color. “I like it,” he says softly. Sokka turns and grabs a small black box under where he replaces the sample, checking to make sure it’s the right shade.</p><p> </p><p>“Here you are, my prince.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko blushes for a third time just in the Sephora portion of their mall adventure. They check out and make their way back out to Sokka’s car. He drives Zuko back to the school since his car was left there. Just as they’re about to go their separate ways again, Zuko says “Thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“For what?” Sokka asks, seeming genuinely confused.</p><p> </p><p>“For today. I had a lot of fun.” Zuko doesn’t even realize he’s smiling until he catches a view of himself in the side mirror of Sokka’s car as he opens the door.</p><p> </p><p>“So did I,” Sokka says with a grin. “Let me know what you think of the lipstick. I expect a full description via text.”</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll see about that. Bye, Sokka.”</p><p> </p><p>“Bye, Zuko.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko gets into his car and watches Sokka drive away, letting his heart keep pounding in his chest so he can try to memorize the feeling.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko races upstairs when he gets home. His father is making dinner tonight so he has at least an hour before he has to be back downstairs. He closes the door to his room and walks over to the mirror on top of his vanity.</p><p> </p><p>He pulls the Sephora bag out of his backpack where he had hid it to smuggle it inside without it being spotted. The little black box is something Zuko has always wanted and has always been too ashamed to ask for, but Sokka gives him the power to be bold. He feels like he could ask for whatever he wants and Sokka would move the earth so that he could have it.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko opens the box and takes out the tube of red. It has a different consistency than he expected when he twists the cap off and pulls out the applicator. It always looked thicker in the videos he watched, but it’s actually kind of thin. He places the applicator on his bottom lip, carefully outlining the bottom and then filling it in. He does the same with his top lip as he watches himself transform in the mirror. Zuko replaces the applicator in the tube and takes a minute to study himself in the mirror.</p><p> </p><p>The dark red plays against his pale skin. Zuko takes his hair out of the ponytail he’s had it up in all day and lets his hair fall to his shoulders. He realizes how much like his mother he looks in this moment.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I look… beautiful.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko can’t remember a time in his life when he’s felt like this. Like he’s… free. Like it’s okay to be who he is and like what he likes. Like he doesn’t have to live by his father’s rules for this moment.</p><p> </p><p>In this moment, Azula’s insults don’t matter.</p><p> </p><p>In this moment, his father’s scolds can’t hurt him.</p><p> </p><p>In this moment, for the first time in his life, Zuko is just… himself.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a shorter moment than he expected, though. He had been so distracted by his reflection he hadn’t heard the heavy footfalls approaching his door. Zuko hears the doorknob turn and it’s too late because his father is staring at him from the doorway with rage in his face.</p><p> </p><p>“What is <em>that</em>?” his father demands.</p><p> </p><p>“This is not what it looks like!” Zuko scrambles for some answer, some excuse. “It’s just my friend Sokka--”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I think this is exactly what it looks like!” His father rushes at him and grabs him by his hair. Zuko screams, but it’s not like that does anything. He is dragged downstairs roughly by his hair until they are in the kitchen. “To think, my son, a dirty queer. You are a disgrace to this family!” his father booms.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko tries to say “It’s not what it looks like” again, but before he can there’s soap in his mouth and stinging on his lips. The stinging comes from the steel wool his father is using to harshly remove the lipstick. He doesn’t even feel the tears running down his cheeks as his father continues berating him.</p><p> </p><p>“This is the thanks I get for everything I’ve done for you. I give you a roof over your head, the clothes on your back, and you parade yourself around my house in lipstick?!” He finally releases Zuko. “You’re just like your mother, a whore. Except, worse, you’re a gay whore for that <em>friend</em> of yours.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko snapped. “Sokka’s not like that. My mother was not a whore!” he screamed at his father through bloody lips.</p><p> </p><p>“How dare you speak to me like that!”</p><p> </p><p>A slap across his face from his father causes Zuko to stumble. He burns his hands catching himself on the stove where his father was making dinner. Before Zuko can think another thought, his father’s hand is holding his head down, the left side of his face an inch away from the burner.</p><p> </p><p>It burns. He can feel his skin melting. He can smell his hair burning. He can’t hear anything, but he knows he’s screaming. The panic is overwhelming, not being able to move, not being able to make it stop.</p><p> </p><p>Time ceases to exist. Zuko doesn’t know how long his face was held to the burner before Azula comes into the kitchen to find the source of the noise. He takes advantage of his father being momentarily distracted to push his hand away and race out the back door.</p><p> </p><p>He runs and doesn’t stop. Zuko is frantic to get away, and as far away as possible. His senses are screaming at him. The pain on the side of his face, the blood in his mouth, it’s all too much. He collapses to the sidewalk, only able to breathe through heaving sobs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>dirty queer</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>disgrace</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>gay whore</em>
</p><p> </p><p>His father’s words won’t leave him alone. Blood mixes with his tears and burns on the left side of his face. Zuko knows he needs to get help, but he can’t will his legs to move anymore. He desperately takes out his phone. He looks through his sparse contacts for the right one and calls them.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p> </p><p>“Uncle--” He can barely get the words out between his sobs. “I need-- guh… I need your help!”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>CW: abuse of a minor, violence</p><p>Description of the content: Zuko’s father finds him wearing lipstick and lashes out. Zuko is pulled by his hair, his lips are scrubbed with steel wool, and his face is held to the burner of the stove. Ozai uses quite a bit of homophobic language and insults.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Anything we have known, anything we’ve forgotten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko struggles.</p><p>-----</p><p>Sokka worries.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lots of feelings in this chapter. Don’t worry, things are going to get better for our boys soon (just not in this chapter). Let me know what you think in the comments!</p><p>With love,</p><p>Lucky Cat</p><p> </p><p>Content warnings at the bottom.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko wakes up in a strange place. It’s cold and smells like disinfectant. He tries to open his eyes, but only his right eye will open. He reaches up to feel the left side of his face, covered in bandages, and he sees his uncle asleep in a chair beside the bed. He bolts upright.</p><p> </p><p>It all comes flooding back to him.</p><p> </p><p>The mall. The lipstick. The soap. The stove.</p><p> </p><p>The screaming. The burning. The running. The calling.</p><p> </p><p>The last thing he remembers is his uncle helping him into the passenger seat of his car. After that, he must have blacked out.</p><p> </p><p>The thoughts of yesterday make him start to panic. He feels his breath quickening, but Iroh wakes up and quickly pulls him into an embrace.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh nephew! I was so worried.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko can’t keep his sobs in. He is clinging to his uncle like his life depends on it and repeating a broken mantra of “I’m sorry,” over and over again.</p><p> </p><p>Iroh soothes him by stroking the back of his head and speaking softly. “Shhh. It’s okay now, nephew. You’re okay. You have nothing to be sorry for.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko is eventually able to calm down enough to pull away from his uncle. “I can’t go back there,” he says, his throat tight from all of his screaming and sobbing.</p><p> </p><p>“And I won’t make you -- you can come live with me -- but can you tell me what happened?” He is still using a gentle voice and the concern is apparent in his face. He doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable, he just wants to know what hurt Zuko so badly, physically and mentally.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko knows that, but he can't risk losing his uncle too. What his father did to him has hardened his heart. It was a mistake to tell someone, to think that he could like -- really like -- someone, to hope for a future where he could be himself. He just shakes his head.</p><p> </p><p>Iroh seems to accept that Zuko doesn’t want to talk about it. “Alright, Zuko. I’ll go let the nurses know you’ve woken up.”</p><p> </p><p>He watches his uncle leave the room. It hits him then. His life will never be the same. Zuko has lost everything, and all because he couldn’t keep his disgusting desires hidden.</p><p> </p><p>As much as it hurts, he knows what he has to do. He has to stop talking to Sokka. Zuko knows he can’t ever act on his feelings so he’ll have to watch Sokka date other people, fall in love with someone else. It’ll break his heart in the long run, so he might as well cut his losses.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka would never want him anyway. Zuko didn’t realize how broken he could become. Now his brokenness would be painted across his face. Sokka deserves someone he can proudly stand beside, and someone who can proudly stand beside him. It will never be Zuko.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Sokka thinks about Zuko all weekend. Zuko is so elegant yet also so adorable no matter what he’s doing. Did he even realize how cute he was being in Sephora? As they walked through the mall together, it took everything Sokka had in him to not take Zuko’s hand in his, and then to not give him a gentle kiss as they sat in his car for a moment back at the school. Sokka feels himself falling harder and harder for Zuko the more time he spends with him.</p><p> </p><p>But Sokka hasn’t heard from or seen Zuko since then. At first, he just assumed Zuko was busy with homework or whatever he does in his free time on the weekend. Sokka doesn't want to come off as clingy so he gives Zuko his space and only texted him three times.</p><p> </p><p>He starts getting worried, though, when Zuko isn’t at school on Monday. Then, he isn’t there Tuesday, or Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday. And then <em>another</em> week passed. It’s now been two weeks and Sokka hasn’t heard word one from or about him. He is becoming more and more unhinged and the gang has noticed.</p><p> </p><p>“Are you okay, Sokka?” Katara asks him at lunch surrounded by the rest of the gang. “I know you’re worried about Zuko, but is there something else going on?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is irrationally upset, mostly at himself. He cares about Zuko on a different level. He can’t say that without revealing that he’s bisexual, and Sokka’s not ready for that. It hurts so much, keeping it a secret, having to struggle with his worry for Zuko on his own for fear of losing his friends. He feels like a coward, putting his secret before anything else, even the guy he likes.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m not okay! Is that what you want to hear?” Sokka knows that Katara or any of his other friends don’t deserve to be the target of his rage, but it runs away from him before he can catch it. “There’s nothing I can do about it! Do you think there’s anything you can do either?!”</p><p> </p><p>He looks across all of the startled faces of his friends, immediately regretting snapping like that. “Oh God. I’m so sorry Katara. I just--” He turns his gaze down to the table. “What if something’s wrong, and I’m here doing nothing except waiting? What if we could be helping him, but we’re not?” Sokka has to concentrate to keep his voice from breaking.</p><p> </p><p>Katara is stubborn, but it is obvious that Sokka is hurting. Aang pipes in. “Well… I might have an idea. I’m not really sure if it’s a good one, but it’s the best I’ve got.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s more than I have,” Sokka says, turning to face his direction. “Let’s hear it.”</p><p> </p><p>Aang’s idea certainly isn’t… ideal, but desperate times call for desperate measures. Suki and Toph are optimistic that it might work, which makes Sokka feel a little better. Katara huffs and refuses to be a part of it, but she doesn’t really have a choice. After all, she is their best connection to Azula.</p><p> </p><p>Grudgingly, she agrees to have minor involvement. “She has cheer practice after school.” Katara only knows this because she went through a phase freshman year where she was trying to fit in with the popular girls and tried out for the cheer squad. Azula was also trying out and commented on Katara’s unshaven legs and bushy eyebrows in front of everyone. Katara came home in tears so Sokka went to the cheer squad advisor the next day and informed her of what happened. She basically just said that girls will be catty and there’s nothing she could do. Katara made the squad along with Azula, but she decided she’d rather do theater instead of deal with the stuck up princesses on the cheer squad.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you want us to come with you?” Suki asks Sokka. She really is his best friend, always there for him even after their kind of awkward and short relationship two years ago.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to ask her about Zuko myself, but I think… I’m going to need y’all there with me. You know, for support and just in case things go south.”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m there, Snoozles,” Toph says. They reach out to shake his hand, but they miss his direction by a few feet. Suki turns them gently.</p><p> </p><p>“I fell asleep at movie night one time!”</p><p> </p><p>“And now you never get to live it down. Deal with it,” Toph barks with a smirk.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka leads the formulation of a plan and they agree to meet at the field after the last bell.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Toph and Suki are last to arrive. Sokka is nervous to approach Zuko’s sister, but his concern for Zuko outweighs his nerves. He spots Azula warming up at the edge of the field and leads the gang over to her.</p><p> </p><p>“Azula,” Sokka says as he approaches her, his heartbeat thudding in his ears. “I’m Sokka. You probably don’t know me, but I’ve been Zuko’s calculus tutor for the past couple of weeks and we’re friends. I haven’t heard from him since Friday two weeks ago, so I was hoping you could tell us what’s going on?”</p><p> </p><p>“Aww, you’re worried about him. How cute,” she responds with a sickly sweet voice. “I’m surprised you’re friends with Zuko. Nobody likes him,” Azula says matter of factly while continuing to warm up, barely paying attention to Sokka.</p><p> </p><p>“We like him,” Toph cut in.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh I’m sorry.” Her voice drips with sarcasm. “So what do you want from me?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is trying his best not to absolutely lose it at the only person who might be able to tell him about Zuko, but it’s a struggle. “Like I said before, I was hoping you could tell us why Zuko hasn’t been at school the last couple of weeks,” he says through gritted teeth.</p><p> </p><p>Azula only rolls her eyes. “Family emergency.” Sokka knows it’s a lie, but what else can he do? She has made it abundantly clear that she doesn’t give a shit about this.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, thanks,” Sokka says curtly before storming away from both Azula and his friends.</p><p> </p><p>He goes to his usual hiding spot: the school’s back stairwell. People rarely use it so it’s his safe haven when he needs to be by himself. Sokka puts his back against the wall and slowly slides down. He feels absolutely powerless. Does Zuko all of the sudden hate him so much that he won’t even text Sokka? Did he unknowingly cross some sort of line? He’d apologize in a heartbeat if he had done anything that hurt Zuko. Not like he even has a way to apologize right now, though.</p><p> </p><p>He brings his knees to his chest and is about to start crying when he hears the stairwell door open. It’s Suki.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey.” She takes a seat against the wall next to him. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s up.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka sucks his tears back in. “I’m just worried about Zuko.” It’s not a lie, it just isn’t the whole story.</p><p> </p><p>Suki sits beside him silently for a moment. “Can I ask you something?” He nods. “Do you maybe… like Zuko?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka quickly turns his head towards her and just stares. <em>How did she figure it out? Was I that obvious? If she knows, they must all know. I’m absolutely fucked.</em></p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, one way or the other.”</p><p> </p><p>He takes a second to think it through. She has given him an out. He doesn’t have to say anything. On the other hand, she’s his best friend. He knows she’d be fine with it. He can’t really think of a reason <em>not</em> to tell her so he takes a deep breath. “I do. He made me realize… I’m bi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I’m pan,” she says like they’re talking about the weather. “Actually, I like Toph, and I think they might like me too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really? Wow! That’s great Suki.” Sokka pulls her into a hug. He is relieved to have another friend who gets it, someone other than the person he actively has a crush on.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh yeah, Zuko.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sokka pulls away. “I don’t know what to do, Suki.” He can’t hold his tears back any longer. “I know there’s something wrong. Why else would he stop texting me and not show up at school for a week?”</p><p> </p><p>She places a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll figure something out. It’s going to be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>He just sniffles and tries to believe her. That’s all he can do right now.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll take everyone home today. I know I interrupted your alone time here so go do something for yourself.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. Thanks Suki. You know I love you right.”</p><p> </p><p>“I love you too Sokka. See you on Monday.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Bye.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka gathered his things and got up. Since it’s Friday, he decides to make the hour drive down to the coast. He sends a text to his Gran Gran and Katara that he’ll be back tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>As he’s walking out of the building towards his car, he sees someone waiting next to it. That someone is Azula.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you want?” Sokka asks, perturbed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’d like to help you.” She looks… different. Not just sweaty from practice different, like whole demeanor different. She seems nervous, fiddling with her hands.</p><p> </p><p>“What made you change your mind?” He doesn’t want to trust her fully yet.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m… worried too. I haven’t seen him since a couple weeks ago either…”</p><p> </p><p>“What?! Did something happen?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes. Our father found him in his room wearing lipstick and hurt him. He ran out of the house when I came to see why he was screaming and that’s the last time I saw him.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka feels a dagger go through his heart. <em>Zuko got hurt because of something I encouraged him to do. If it hadn’t been for me, he would be fine. I did this to him.</em> He can feel the tears coming back to his eyes. “Do you have any idea of where he would go?” he asks in a quieter voice than he meant to use.</p><p> </p><p>“I think he might be with our uncle. He’s the only other relative we have in the area. He lives above the tea shop he owns. It’s called The Jasmine Dragon. Zuko will probably be there.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka immediately pulls out his phone and gets the directions to The Jasmine Dragon. It’s only ten minutes away.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re the only of his friends he’s ever mentioned around me. You must be important to him. Will you let me know if he’s okay?” Her eyes harden again, like she just realized she was being vulnerable. “Or not. I don’t really care one way or the other,” Azula said while examining her manicure.</p><p> </p><p>“I will. Thank you,” Sokka replies. He gets in his car and starts it faster than he ever has in his whole life. The beach will have to wait. Right now he has to see Zuko.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko has been with his uncle since he was discharged Sunday before last. Iroh has been very understanding, letting Zuko stay home from school and giving him space. He even went and packed a bag for Zuko during a time he knew Ozai wouldn’t be there. His uncle remembered that Zuko kept a picture of his mom in his copy of Love Amongst Dragons and grabbed that for him too.</p><p> </p><p>His uncle’s kindness hurts more than he expected it to.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko’s mind plays a constant loop of his father’s insults. He has to be careful to not let his uncle see how tormented he is by nightmares every night. He feels worthless, and then his uncle does something decent for him and he wants to hide. He doesn’t deserve good things, he always ruins them.</p><p> </p><p>One thing he has enjoyed is helping Iroh at the tea shop. The peacefulness hasn’t stopped his inner turmoil, but it’s a good distraction. He mostly waits on customers. (The first day, he tried to brew tea and his uncle decided it would be best if Zuko’s talents were used elsewhere.)</p><p> </p><p>It’s the afternoon rush. People are just getting off from work and stopping in for a relaxing cup of tea before heading home. The regulars have gotten to know Zuko and have conversations with him even though he’s very bad at making small talk. It made him feel a little better that people weren’t scared off by the bandage covering half his face. Though, he feels like the conversation has less today with his newly exposed scar.</p><p> </p><p>This morning his uncle took him back to the doctor. They took a look at the burn and said that he wouldn’t need to wear the bandage anymore, though he would probably never regain the sight in that eye. The skin healed so well because his uncle helped him clean and rebandage it every night. All Zuko sees is the damage. Just the thought of his grotesque reflection makes his stomach turn.</p><p> </p><p>He is behind the counter pouring a cup of tea when he hears the bells above the door jingle. “Welcome to The Jasmine Dragon. Take a seat and I’ll be right with you,” he says without looking up. He can see out of the corner of his good eye that the person is still standing in the middle of the shop so he looks up and… </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sokka.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sokka is standing there.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sokka is here.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sokka looks worried.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sokka is staring… at my scar.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I can’t do this.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I’ve got to leave.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko drops the tea cup he was holding, unable to hear it shatter over the blitz of thoughts running through his mind. He turns and bolts behind the curtain, up the stairs, and into his room.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>What is Sokka doing here? How did he know where to find me?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>A panic attack is taking control of Zuko. He feels his chest tighten, quickly causing him to start hyperventilating. The only sound he can hear is his rapid heartbeat pounding against his eardrums.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Everyone is going to know I’m gay. Shameful. Disgrace. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He has to get further away. Zuko rips off his apron, grabs a hoodie, and hurries down the back staircase. From the alley behind his uncle’s tea shop, he breaks into a sprint to get as far away as he can, as fast as he can. He doesn’t know where he’s going, he just knows he can’t be here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>CW: panic attacks, self loathing</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I remember feeling like this part of us will never change</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sokka has an unexpected conversation.</p><p>-----</p><p>Zuko has an unexpected conversation.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>These boys are dense and make assumptions without talking to each other (I may or may not be basing that on my own personal experience *cough cough*). Huzzah for the people who talk some sense into them.</p><p>There’s a little bit of panic and self-loathing in this chapter, but not really enough for a content warning. Also, I have never written a non-binary character before so if I made any mistakes or if there are any ways I can improve it, please let me know!</p><p>Thank you to everyone who has been leaving kudos and comments. I love to hear from y’all so let me know what you think!</p><p>With love,</p><p>Lucky Cat</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>He must really hate me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Sokka stands in the middle of The Jasmine Dragon absolutely gutted. He’d been shocked to see Zuko’s scar, but the panicked look on his face right before he ran shocked Sokka even more. Zuko probably blames him for what happened. After all, he feels the need to flee just from seeing Sokka.</p><p> </p><p>He has managed to ruin one of the best things in his life. He drove Zuko away because he was careless. He didn’t think about what Zuko’s home life must be like, that he knew he was gay for so long yet had never told a soul before Sokka. It’s all his fault. Zuko wouldn’t be hurt without him.</p><p> </p><p>He’s jolted from his thoughts when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see a gray-haired man wearing an apron that looks the same as Zuko’s.</p><p> </p><p>“You must be one of my nephew’s friends. I’m Iroh,” the man says with a gentle smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Y-yes. I’m Sokka.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sokka, I don’t think my nephew is up to seeing you today, but perhaps I can be of assistance to you. You can wait in my office.” Iroh motions to a room just beyond the curtain. “The shop is closing in twenty minutes. I’ll put on a pot of tea for us to share.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Sir,” Sokka says with a nod and he hastily makes his way into the office.</p><p> </p><p>He takes a seat on the couch pushed against the same wall as the door. It’s difficult to relax with his mind still racing. Worry and guilt take turns controlling his thoughts until Iroh comes in, as promised, twenty minutes later.</p><p> </p><p>He silently sets down two cups and pours the tea, moving one cup in front of Sokka when he’s done. Iroh then sits in a chair across from the couch and picks up his own cup, allowing the silence to hang in the air. Sokka’s panic can’t take the delay so he speaks first.</p><p> </p><p>“Is Zuko okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Iroh takes a sip of tea. “If you were to ask him, he would probably say that he is. I, however, am not as convinced.”</p><p> </p><p>That doesn’t tell Sokka anything so he poses another question that might get him a more helpful answer. “What happened?”</p><p> </p><p>“I do not know. He doesn’t wish to speak about it with me. Even if he had, it would not be my place to tell you. What I do know is that he has been brought to the crossroads of his destiny.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka is taken aback by the cryptic way Iroh speaks. Destiny? What crossroads? They’re in high school. Yes, they’re both seniors so they have to decide where they want to go to college and what they want to major in, but that doesn’t seem like it’s make or break for <em>destiny</em>. It seems whatever happened has deeply affected Zuko, changing his life in many ways.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka can’t help but wonder how certain he was of his destiny before that this has possibly altered its course. “What was his destiny before?”</p><p> </p><p>“To follow in his father’s footsteps.” Iroh takes another sip of tea and, before Sokka can ask what that means, he continues. “You may have heard of his father before. He is Senator Ozai Sozin. From a very young age, Zuko has been prepared to follow the same path, from debate club to attending formal affairs with his father. He has never been very good at it. He has a kind soul and a warm heart, never one for confrontation or being abrasive. It often earned him the ridicule of his father when he didn’t succeed in something that his sister could do easily. He has gone to great lengths to please his father, and now it seems like it has been for nothing. All it has done is make him closed off.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka can see the pain in Iroh’s eyes, that he’s fighting to keep his emotions from coming through. He stares straight ahead at the wall trying to keep his own emotions at bay. He feels even more powerless than before. “What can I do to help him?” he asks quietly, more to himself than to Iroh.</p><p> </p><p>“You must really care about him.”</p><p> </p><p>Iroh’s words capture Sokka’s attention and he quickly faces him again. It hits him in that moment how much he truly does care for Zuko, how painful these past couple of weeks without him have been, how he would do anything to see him smile again.</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Sokka whispers.</p><p> </p><p>That earns him a gentle smile from Iroh. “The best thing you can do for him is be there for him when he is ready. I cannot tell you when that will be, but I do know he will need a friend as good as you by his side when that time comes.”</p><p> </p><p>Iroh’s words almost miraculously relieve the tension Sokka had been feeling. “Thank you, Sir.”</p><p> </p><p>“Please, just Iroh.”</p><p> </p><p>“Alright. Thank you, Iroh.” Sokka stands to leave and notices he didn’t even touch his cup of tea. “I’m sorry that I didn’t have any of the tea you brewed,” he says with a nervous smile.</p><p> </p><p>Iroh just laughs. “You and my nephew are exactly alike in that respect. Hopefully, I’ll have the opportunity to make tea for you again in the future.”</p><p> </p><p>“I hope so too.” With that, Sokka leaves the office and exits the tea shop feeling lighter than he did when he entered.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko runs, trying to leave his problems behind, but they follow him no matter how fast he runs.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Broken.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Worthless.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Not good enough.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Never will be good enough.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Stupid for thinking I would be good enough.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>The panicked thoughts playing on loop and his speed really weren’t a good combination. As Zuko rounded the next corner, he ran directly into someone, sending them both to their asses on the sidewalk.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry-- I’m so sorry!” Zuko managed to get out between gasps of breath as he rose to his feet again. Then, he heard a familiar voice.</p><p> </p><p>“God! Watch where you’re going. Some of us are blind. Wait-- Zuko?” There is Toph, sitting on the ground. They pause feeling around for their cane to look in Zuko’s general direction.</p><p> </p><p>“Let me help you up. I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful.” This is the first time he had spoken to any of his friends in two weeks and, of all the people it could have been, he’s glad it’s Toph. At least they can’t see his damaged face.</p><p> </p><p>“You really should have been. You can make it up to me by paying for my burger and milkshake.”</p><p> </p><p>Before he can even respond, he is being dragged down the street towards a diner. Zuko adamantly doesn’t say anything, even once they are tucked away in a booth in the almost empty restaurant and Toph has placed their order. He’s pretty sure he knows how this is going to go down.</p><p> </p><p><em>Why haven’t you been at school? What happened? What’s wrong?</em> All questions he doesn’t want to answer. Toph is full of surprises, though.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure you’ve realized by now that I don’t exactly fit a mold,” they said, breaking the silence. When Zuko responded with more silence, Toph continued. “My parents basically put me on lockdown when I came home with short hair. Things got even stricter when I told them I’m non-binary and queer. They preferred me as their helpless blind little girl, and when I didn’t want to be that anymore, they took the choice away from me.”</p><p> </p><p>Now, Zuko’s silence has meaning. He is shocked silent. He never realized that the boisterous and carefree person who lovingly poked fun at everyone had so much hurt in their past. Pain so similar… to his own.</p><p> </p><p>“I was being forced to be someone I wasn’t, and it would have stayed like that if I hadn’t relied on other people.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko feels like Toph is calling him out. It feels stupid because he knows that if one of his friends were in his position, he’d tell them to not be so hard on themselves, that they should try to get help. He knows that, but he can’t bring himself to believe that he is worthy of others’ help. What happened to him is his own fault and he deserved it. He’s learned his lesson. But…</p><p> </p><p>He can’t help wondering how Toph managed it. “How… did you get help?” he asks in a hushed voice.</p><p> </p><p>“I turned to a mentor of mine who has always given excellent advice and told him what was happening. He asked if he could talk to my parents on my behalf and he was able to convince them to let me live somewhere else, somewhere where I could be myself. He couldn’t take me in himself because he said he had to keep his extra room open, but he introduced me to the man who became my guardian. His name is Bumi and he helps run The White Lotus LGBTQIA Resource Center in the city. I don’t have to hide who I am with him and it is freeing.”</p><p> </p><p><em>That sounds… nice,</em> Zuko thinks to himself. He stops that train of thought before it gets much further since thinking like that is what shattered his life in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>“What I’m trying to say is--” Toph is interrupted mid-sentence when the waiter brings their food. After a quick exchange of <em>Do you need anything else? No, thank you,</em> they are alone again. “I know what it’s like to feel like hiding who you are is the only way to make other people happy, but I can tell you for a fact that it won’t make you happy,” Toph says before digging into their burger in the sloppiest way possible.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko is taken aback. For someone who’s blind, no one else has ever made him feel this seen. Like maybe -- just maybe -- he should try relying on others, too.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fuck it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gay.” He pauses to think of the least painful way to say the next bit. “My father found out and hurt me because of it.”</p><p> </p><p>Toph stops eating their burger. “Shit… I thought you might be gay, but I had no idea it was that bad.” Their voice is pure concern.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Zuko replies. “I’m living with my uncle now, but I haven’t had the courage to tell him why my father hurt me. I don’t want to destroy another relationship because of… this.”</p><p> </p><p>“This? You mean being yourself?” they say, a little bit of frustration creeping into their voice. “Do you plan on faking who you are your whole life for the sake of other people’s comfort?”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko opts to not respond because it’s true. That’s his plan --  or it was his plan.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m going to take your silence to mean that’s something you have legitimately considered. As your fairy-god queer, I’m here to tell you that you’re only going to hurt yourself worse that way. I know.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko can’t argue with that. Toph just told him about all of their pain, about how they got help. He lets a little feeling of hope bubble up in his chest. “How do I get help?” It comes out more defeated than he intended it to, but at least he can say the words.</p><p> </p><p>“I think you should tell your uncle,” Toph replies with a soft smile. “It doesn’t have to be right away, but you can’t heal with willpower alone. You’ll need to let others help you, and you might be surprised about how accepting people are when you let them in.”</p><p> </p><p>He lets Toph’s words sink in and doesn’t say much else while Toph finishes eating.</p><p> </p><p>By the time Zuko and Toph part ways, the sun has dipped below the horizon, leaving the sky dark but still too early to see the moon rising opposite to take its place. Zuko makes his way back the direction he careened down the sidewalk just a couple hours ago, far more calm now. The barrage of thoughts has left him alone. While he still feels inadequate, Zuko has a loose plan to not keep it all inside anymore. One (very slow) step at a time, he will try to let people in.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>(Yes, Iroh is Toph’s mentor.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In your arms I’ll stay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zuko and Sokka get their happy ending</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is it! This chapter is a little heavy at the beginning, but then we get into some nice fluffy stuff. Yes, I know my Iroh advice is terrible, but don't judge me because he is <em>pretty</em> hard to write.</p><p>Thank you so much to everyone who has read this and left kudos and comments. I really enjoyed writing this fic, but it wouldn’t mean anything if it wasn’t for all of you. Let me know what you think in the comments!</p><p>With love,</p><p>Lucky Cat</p><p> </p><p>Content warnings at the bottom.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Something’s burning.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>It smells smokey and like… sulfur?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Zuko’s face hurts.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He reaches up to touch it only to find that his face is what’s burning.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He’s back in the kitchen.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He’s screaming, but his father’s hand is still shoving his face in the flame.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Azula doesn’t come.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>There’s no escape.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I have to escape!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko wakes up screaming. All he can think of is getting away from the fire, away from his father. Tears are streaming down his face, his tangled sheets trapping him where he is, but to him it is his father’s grip keeping him down.</p><p> </p><p>He’s so caught up in his panic that he doesn’t know his uncle is in the room until he takes Zuko by his shoulders and holds him steady. It strikes Zuko then that it was just a dream. He feels so weak; all it takes is a stupid dream to reduce him to a panicked mess. The only thing he can do is collapse into Iroh’s arms, letting out broken sobs.</p><p> </p><p>It mirrors when he woke up in the hospital, from the repeated sorrys to his uncle’s hand gently stroking his hair. After a moment, his uncle pulls away and holds him by his shoulders again.</p><p> </p><p>“Nephew, I am worried about you,” his uncle says with a steady tone, concern painted across his face. “I know that this is not the first nightmare you have had.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko feels like he has failed at yet another thing. He can’t even hold it together enough to not worry his uncle. That’s what is going through his mind as his uncle proceeds.</p><p> </p><p>“A trained tiger monkey lacks free will. It does as commanded and fears punishment for its actions outside of those commands. You have been put in a similar cage, my nephew, and I will not keep you in there. I deeply wish to help you, but you must tell me how first.”</p><p> </p><p>Toph’s words come back to him, <em>let others help you, and you might be surprised about how accepting people are when you let them in.</em> Maybe… it’s time.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko takes a fortifying breath. “F-father came into my room and-- and I was--” He turns away from his uncle. He doesn’t want to see his face if what he says makes his uncle ashamed of him. “I was wearing lipstick,” he says, his voice barely a whisper. “He found out I’m gay.”</p><p> </p><p>He is met with silence from his uncle so he is forced to look back up at him. Zuko is shocked to find tears running down his uncle’s face.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Oh no. He’s ashamed of me. What have I done?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry, Uncle. I’ll never do it again. I promise-”</p><p> </p><p>“No nephew. Forgive my tears.” Iroh uses his sleeve to wipe his tears away and he takes a moment to calm his emotions. “You don’t need to be scared of losing my love.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko just sits in shocked silence as his uncle continues.</p><p> </p><p>“I knew my brother was biggoted and cruel, but I didn’t know he was capable of causing such great suffering for you, nephew. I should have tried to get both you and your sister out of that house years ago. It is I who must say sorry to you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Uncle…”</p><p> </p><p>“You will always have a place in my house and in my heart, nephew. And you don’t need to fear who you are anymore. I will support you, Zuko, no matter what.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko starts crying again, this time out of relief. Relief that he won’t ever have to go back to his father. Relief that he has his uncle by his side. Relief that it might be… okay to be gay.</p><p> </p><p>He is pulled into another hug by Iroh. “Thank you, Uncle. I-- just-- thank you.”</p><p> </p><p>“It is only what you deserve, nephew.” Zuko isn’t really sure how long he stays in his uncle’s arms, but all he knows is that he feels safe -- safer than he’s felt in a long time.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko wakes up actually feeling rested for once. After talking with his uncle, the nightmares left him alone for the rest of the night. He takes advantage of feeling good to take a shower before going downstairs for breakfast.</p><p> </p><p>He intentionally makes himself look in the mirror. Since the bandages only came off yesterday, he is still not used to his reflection. Zuko fights the urge to call himself ugly, trying instead to learn it as part of him, completely neutral towards it. After all, it will be a part of his face for the rest of his life. He doesn’t need to feel good looking, he just needs to not feel disgusting. It’s not something that he would have been able to do before his talk with his uncle, but now he feels like he owes it to Iroh to hate himself a little less. That’s self-growth, I guess?</p><p> </p><p>Zuko quickly finishes up in the bathroom and heads downstairs. His uncle has laid two bowls of oatmeal out on the table, already made just how he likes it, with brown sugar and cinnamon. He takes a moment to let the warm smell of the cinnamon sink in before thanking his uncle and beginning to eat.</p><p> </p><p>“You seem refreshed this morning, nephew,” Iroh says while starting in on his own bowl.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko can’t stop the small smile that finds its way onto his face. “I am.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s good.” His uncle pauses and his demeanor becomes a little more serious. “I know you may wish to take more time for yourself, but your friend who came by yesterday evening was quite concerned about you, Zuko. Perhaps you might consider reaching out to your friends.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko knows he’s right. He’s been awol for two weeks, not even so much as texting anyone. He knows Toph wouldn’t reveal that they ran into each other (in the literal sense) last night, so he is the one who has to let everyone know he’s… okay? That doesn’t really feel like the right word. He’s on his way to being okay, just not quite there yet.</p><p> </p><p>And then there’s Sokka. He probably hates Zuko by now. Between ghosting him and literally running away from him, the message is the exact opposite of how Zuko feels about him.</p><p> </p><p>But he’s scared. It has been approximately eight hours since Zuko fully accepted that he’s allowed to be gay. He’s about as emotionally available as the oatmeal he’s eating right now. Should he really subject Sokka to teaching him how to love like a normal person?</p><p> </p><p>That’s assuming that Sokka even likes him back. <em>Highly unlikely,</em> Zuko thinks. Why would someone as cool and handsome and nice as Sokka like someone as shy and awkward and introverted as Zuko? Although, he has manifested some Toph advice for this scenario, and they would say that he won’t know until he actually tells him.</p><p> </p><p>So it’s really anyone’s guess as to what he’ll actually do.</p><p> </p><p>For now, he responds to his uncle, “I will.”</p><p> </p><p>“Glad to hear that. I’m very proud of you, nephew,” Iroh says with a wide grin that reaches his eyes. That small praise is enough to make Zuko feel like, for once in his life, he is good enough. “I’m going to prepare to open the shop. Why don’t you take the day off? It will be fairly slow since it’s a Saturday and the last twenty-four hours have been quite eventful for you.”</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t have to, Uncle. What will I even do all day?”</p><p> </p><p>“How about going to the turtle duck pond in the park? I know how much you love it there,” Iroh says as he gets up from the table, leaving Zuko no room to argue.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright,” Zuko replies to appease his uncle. It has been a while since he’s been to the ponds. Maybe he’ll take some of the stale bread from the shop with him. He’s going to need to relax before confronting his friends, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not sure this is what Zuko’s uncle meant,” Katara scolds from the backseat.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not expecting to talk to him, but I want him to know that we’re all there for him. You know-- for whenever he’s ready. I can’t think of a better way to do that than going to the tea shop.”</p><p> </p><p>“Because that went <em>so</em> well yesterday,” Katara says as sarcastically as she possibly can.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that all this is?” Toph asks. They tend to be more perceptive than Sokka would like.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka feels their question all the way through his heart. He’s made up his mind. “Well, actually, I-- I like him,” he says with his eyes focused on the road. There’s silence for a solid minute before Toph breaks it.</p><p> </p><p>“You owe me ten bucks, Twinkle Toes.” Aang groans in the backseat.</p><p> </p><p>“What?!” Sokka exclaims while trying to not crash the car.</p><p> </p><p>“I had a bet with Twinkle Toes that you would tell us you like him before y’all started dating.” Toph reaches a hand to the backseat from their position riding shotgun. “Now pony up.”</p><p> </p><p>“I honestly thought you wouldn’t tell us until after you started dating,” Aang says dejectedly while handing over two five dollar bills.</p><p> </p><p>“I have been agonizing over this, and y’all made a bet about it?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Pretty much,” Toph replied while happily pocketing their new money. “You weren’t the most subtle. ‘Talking about calculus’ as the excuse for why we should leave lunch early every day for a week? You really thought we’d buy that?”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka huffs in exasperation. “You have a bet going about me coming out as bi too?”</p><p> </p><p>There was another moment of silence. “No, but we really should have,” Katara finally says. “You could have told us sooner, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know… It was just pretty new, so I wanted to make sure I had my feelings sorted out before I told anyone.” He pulls up to a stoplight and turns around to face the backseat. “Thanks for being awesome, guys.”</p><p> </p><p>“What, did you think we’d disown you?” Toph teases beside him.</p><p> </p><p>“We’ll always be here for you,” Aang says, and Sokka knows that it’s a promise that won’t be broken.</p><p> </p><p>“You can be kind of dumb sometimes,” Katara starts, earning an eye roll from Sokka. “But that’s why we love you.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka turns back to the road just as the light changes. In a few short minutes, they are pulling up to The Jasmine Dragon and piling out of Sokka’s car. Sokka peers into the front window.</p><p> </p><p>“Good. It looks like he’s not working this morning. I was hoping he wouldn’t be since I scared him so bad yesterday. This will give us a good chance to talk to his uncle.” Sokka makes his way over to the door and opens it, letting his friends file into the shop before following them. The group quickly catches Iroh’s eye and he hurries over to them.</p><p> </p><p>“Sokka, how nice to see you again. I assume you are all the friends my nephew has made.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, Sir. Everyone except Suki. She had practice this morning and couldn’t make it,” Sokka says, feeling more comfortable in his presence than he had yesterday.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, just Iroh everyone.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Iroh,” Toph says more casually than one would for an introduction.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello Toph. How has living with Bumi been recently?”</p><p> </p><p>“Great,” they say with a huge smile on their face.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, you two know each other?” Sokka jaw is on the floor practically.</p><p> </p><p>Toph lets out a little laugh. “Yeah, I used to come here all the time on the weekend so that I wouldn’t have to stay at home and Iroh became a sort of mentor for me.”</p><p> </p><p>“I am honored to be spoken of so highly,” Iroh says followed by a booming laugh.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka has nothing against this line of conversation, but there is a more pressing reason why they’re here today. “How’s Zuko doing today?” Sokka asks, hoping he doesn’t sound too desperate.</p><p> </p><p>Iroh smiles at him. “Actually, much better than yesterday. He’s almost like a new person,” he says with fondness in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you think… he’d want to see me today?”</p><p> </p><p>“I believe he might be very pleased to see you. He’s not here right now, though. He went to the turtle duck ponds in the park.”</p><p> </p><p>He knows exactly where that is, but he controls his urge to run out of the shop to go there right now. “I don’t want to disturb him if he wants to be alone,” he says sadly.</p><p> </p><p>“Go,” Iroh commands. “I think your presence will help him work out what has been troubling him recently.”</p><p> </p><p>Sokka’s eyes go wide. He gets an elbow in his side from Toph. “Just go already. We’re going to get some tea. Go save the prince, Prince Charming,” Toph teases, which earns a chuckle from everyone, including Iroh.</p><p> </p><p>He manages to get out a “Thank you, Iroh!” before leaving the shop and taking off down the sidewalk. He can’t be bothered to think about anything other than Zuko as he sprints towards the park. After all, he has to rescue his prince.</p><p> </p><p>-----<br/>
-----</p><p> </p><p>Zuko sits on his knees by the pond, listening to the soft sounds of the turtle ducklings. He attracted quite a few as soon as he sat down with the stale bread in his hand and now they are hanging close to him in hopes he has more hidden away somewhere.</p><p> </p><p>He stopped coming to the turtle duck ponds after his mother disappeared. The spot was just a painful reminder that he didn’t have her anymore. Only in the last couple of years did he start coming back, using it as his escape when he needed some time to himself.</p><p> </p><p>Right now, though, he feels lonely. It hits him how much he really misses his friends, and Sokka. Especially Sokka. Zuko can picture it now: if Sokka were here, he’d be doing absolutely anything to get the turtle ducks to come up to him. The thought makes him smile a little, and no sooner than he thinks it does he see Sokka running his way.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko tenses, trying to think of how to explain himself, and Sokka must have noticed because he stops about ten feet away from Zuko. They stay like that, staring at each other, before Sokka breaks. He moves a hand to nervously rub the back of his neck. “Hey man.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hey,” Zuko says with still wide eyes. He realizes that his reaction probably made Sokka think he’s scared, but he’s not. He’s happy. So happy. “Do you want to… come sit next to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“… Sure.” Sokka hesitantly moves closer to him and ends up sitting cross-legged a good two feet away from Zuko. They both stare ahead.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko has been planning what he wants to say, and while he didn’t think it would be so soon, he thinks he can convey what he wants to with a combination of what he’s come up with so far and winging it. As he opens his mouth to begin, Sokka says something.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko is taken aback. “Why are you apologizing to me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well… I was really worried about not hearing from you in so long that I went to talk to your sister. She was really standoffish at first, but she came and found me later. She told me… that your father hurt you because of the lipstick. It’s all my fault.” Sokka hung his head.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka just turned Zuko’s plan of what to say on its head. “No! Nothing is your fault. Listen--” He pauses to take a deep breath to give him the strength to say everything he wants -- no, needs -- to say. “It wasn’t the lipstick that made him decide to hurt me, it was the confirmation of me being gay. I’ve kept it all inside for all these years because I thought that was the only way I could live since it was how my father expected me to live.</p><p> </p><p>“My father… burning me is somehow both the worst and the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have physical and emotional and mental scars from it, but it got me out. It means that I don’t have to live by my father’s plan, I get to live with Iroh, and… I get to be myself. I thought that I would spend my whole life pretending I wasn’t gay, keeping it locked away inside until the day I die.” Zuko turns to look at Sokka and Sokka looks at him. “I told my uncle last night after I woke up from another nightmare. He told me that he’d never stop loving me, no matter what.” Tears fill his eyes and begin to roll down his face at the joy and relief behind that statement.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka puts a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so happy for you.” Zuko can tell that he genuinely means it.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko wipes the tears from his cheeks. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and there’s something that I want to tell you, but I don’t want to ruin our relationship because you mean more to me than any other friend I’ve ever had.” His heart is beating wildly, almost like it’s trying to stop him from saying the words he’s been thinking since he met Sokka.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka drops the hand from his shoulder and looks him in the eye. “There’s nothing that you could say that would do that.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Here goes nothing.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“I like you,” Zuko says so quietly it’s barely a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka lips part in shock. Then, he takes Zuko's hand in his own and brings it to his lips. “I like you too,” he says and places a small kiss on Zuko’s knuckles.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko can’t stand the distance between them after that confession. He closes the gap, and they kiss gently. It doesn’t last very long, but it’s life altering.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” Sokka says softly as they break the kiss while remaining in each other’s space.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko flushes bright red. “You don’t have to say that,” he says, casting his eyes to the side.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka places a hand on his jaw to bring his attention back. “I say it because it’s true.” He places a gentle kiss on Zuko’s scar, and Zuko doesn’t find himself recoiling from the touch. In this moment, Zuko feels like the scar is there for the sole purpose of being kissed by Sokka.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you,” is all he is able to whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Sokka looks him in the eye again. “Can I officially ask you to be my boyfriend, my prince?”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko rolls his eyes with no trace of annoyance. “I think that can be arranged.”</p><p> </p><p>They seal the arrangement with a kiss. When they part, Zuko turns and nestles his back into Sokka’s chest, letting his warm arms wrap around him. This exact spot, in these exact arms, is where Zuko has always been destined to end up.</p><p> </p><p>-----</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I'm… free.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Zuko stands against the wall outside the courtroom, people rushing back and forth down the corridor in front of him. It's surreal, like a dream he's going to wake up from any minute. He knows it's not, though, when Sokka squeezes his hand.</p><p> </p><p>"You did great, baby," he says with that stunning smile of his. It instantly comforts Zuko, bringing him back into reality. Everything is finished.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko thinks back to a year ago when his uncle, the day after Zuko told him what Ozai had done, convinced him to seek legal action against his father. Iroh made a convincing argument that he was harmful not only to him and his sister, but all the people affected by the legislation that Ozai backed. His sister was the main reason he decided to pursue charges against Ozai; all he has ever wanted is to protect her.</p><p> </p><p>After his father’s indictment, the courts gave temporary custody of Azula to Iroh. There were several months of preparation, but, when it came down to it, the trial only lasted a week. Zuko recounted his story on the stand and Azula corroborated it when it was her turn to testify. The judge was unamused to say the least when Ozai got up on the stand and told blatant lies under oath. In the end, Ozai was found guilty of all the charges brought against him: attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon, two counts of endangerment of a child, causing serious bodily injury to a child, and, tacked on by the judge, perjury in court.</p><p> </p><p>Today, at the sentencing, Zuko stood up and read his victim impact statement. He looked his father in the eye and told him how he would no longer be the fearful little boy Ozai had shaped him to be, how his hate and cruelty couldn’t touch Zuko anymore now that he was surrounded by love and kindness.</p><p> </p><p>And it’s true. Zuko couldn’t have done any of this without Iroh’s guidance and the strength he draws from Sokka. He has stayed by Zuko’s side for each court appearance, doing more for Zuko than he expected of his new boyfriend, and he has slowly chipped away at the walls Zuko built over so many years of believing his existence was a mistake. Zuko is now able to see the good in himself and proudly stand with Sokka by his side.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, and Ozai got the maximum sentence for each of the charges for a total of 190 years in prison. He will not be eligible for parole for 60 years, by which time he will be just shy of 110 years old.</p><p> </p><p>As Zuko stands in the corridor, his hand in Sokka’s while his uncle thanks the lawyers one last time and Azula gives the media a statement, he feels free.</p><p> </p><p>He feels safe.</p><p> </p><p>Most importantly, he feels loved.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>CW: nightmare, panic attack</p><p>Also, I do not claim to know how the legal system works. I just looked up a basic timeline for an accelerated trial and the maximum sentences for these charges that Ozai could DEFINITELY be found guilty of. Hopefully I didn’t write it too atrociously.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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